


Brotherly Love

by angelskuuipo



Category: Original Work
Genre: Challenge Response, Character Death, Dark Humor, Early Work, GFY, Gen, POV First Person, Snark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-10
Updated: 2014-06-10
Packaged: 2018-02-04 05:05:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1766566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelskuuipo/pseuds/angelskuuipo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You can see the strangest things when you’re dead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brotherly Love

**Author's Note:**

> Claim/Prompt: _A grave has been robbed. Tell the story from the point of view of the deceased._
> 
> Written for the Originalficfest ficathon. Thanks be to Gabrielle, Elisabeth, and Emmy for the beta. Y’all rock the Casbah.
> 
> Originally posted 7-31-06.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I died. A-fucking-gain. What, you think a person can only die once? Oh, no. I’ve died twice before; just happened to stay that way this time. It’s a bit of a relief, actually. Coming back from the dead is a real bitch. It’s the paperwork, you know?

And my reward for shuffling off this mortal coil?

Some jag-off is digging up my grave.

What the hell is up with that? I mean it’s not like I was buried in a fancy tomb in Egypt with a boatload of riches. No, all I was buried with was my, ahem, funeral suit (black, Armani, but a couple of years old), my grandfather’s silver pocket watch (will keep perfect time until, well, the end of time), and two photos: one of my family when we were still speaking (which means it’s at _least_ five years old) and one of the girl responsible for my current predicament (Elaine. Tall, blonde, forties film noir type looks. A real killer, and I mean that literally).

Yeah, feel the irony. And no, I’m not going to tell you how I died. It’s really rather embarrassing, in a gruesome and cringe-worthy, I-really-should-have-known-better, kind of way.

Who _is_ this vulture? Hey! That’s an $8,000 cherry wood coffin you’re messin’ with there, Bub.

Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding me. My own _brother_?! Reggie, what the hell?

What’s he saying?

“…stupid son of a bitch. Couldn’t keep it in your pants, could you? Oh no, not Donny. No, you just had to screw Elaine, didn’t you. Do you have any idea what I went through to get close to her? Of course you don’t. A year and a half of work down the toilet because of your overactive libido.”

Huh?

“…caught a lucky break. She must have felt something for you. You prick. She was high as a kite when she stumbled into the apartment. Told me she’d stashed…Yes!”

What’s that, a film canister?

“…in prison for a long time. She won’t get away with what she did to you. Took pictures, then panicked and hid the film in your coat pocket when no one was looking. It’s gonna be messy and the rest of the family will probably hate you even more after this is all over, but I’ll make sure you’re avenged. You were a grade A asswipe a lot of the time, Donny, but you were my brother and I love you. I wonder; did you go up or down?”

Kinda stuck here in the middle, actually. Huh, my brother still loves me. Who knew?

“Sorry I had to dig you up like this. Not very respectful, I know, but I’d like to think you’d appreciate the humor of the situation.”

Oh yeah, it’s a real laugh riot. You gonna put me back now, dickhead?

“Well, guess I should try to put you back the way I found you. If you’re around somewhere and can hear me…well, I’m gonna miss you Donny. Take care of yourself, wherever you are.”

You too, Reggie. Don’t be in a hurry to join me. What we did-what you _do_ -is dangerous. Be careful, little brother. I’ll be watching out for you.

Grave robbing out of love…okay, maybe it is kind of funny.

-30-  



End file.
